Frozen Thoughts
by Mickey3
Summary: Jack's thoughts when he gets the Ancient disease.


**Frozen Thoughts  
Mickey**

STATUS: Completed 8-21-05

SEASON: 6

SPOILERS: Frozen, very brief ones for Meridian and Descent.

WORD COUNT: 800

AUTHORS NOTE: I was watching the episode 'Frozen' and this just popped into my head. Enjoy. Thanks to Cokie for the beta.

* * *

God! This really sucks. I hate being sick.

I see them rushing into the room, my team, Doc, the scientists. They're worried. I want to reassure them. Tell them I'll be fine and everything will be OK, but I can't make the words come out. I'm so hot and my throat feels dry, like a desert.

At least they're all OK. From the corner of my eye, I see the woman, Ayiana, lying on the floor. Crap. No magic touch for me. I get the sinking feeling she isn't going to make. I'm damn glad she got to everyone else first. My people are safe. That's good enough for me.

Doc puts her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. She says I'm burning up. Ya think? Then she gently pushes my hair back. She does it to comfort me. Sometimes, I don't think she even realizes she's doing it. Not that I'll ever admit it to her, or anyone else for that matter, but I like it when she does that. My mom used to do it when I was a kid. I used to do it to Charlie.

They load me into a containment thingy. Doc tells me I'm going to be fine. Not this time. I know she's trying to comfort me. Sorry, Doc, not working.

Crap. When did I fall asleep? Carter's voice cuts through my addled brain. I have a bad feeling I'm not going to like what she has to say.

Double crap. Definitely don't like it. She wants me to let them put a snake in my head. My head! No way, Jose. Not a snow balls chance in Hell. Tell the Tok'ra to take a flyin' leap. Or maybe tell them to take a long walk off a very short pier. Ain't gonna happen, not in this lifetime. Uh, uh. My head is a single occupancy only. As in 'No Vacancies'. Forget it.

I call her name. I open my eyes and Carter's face slowly comes into focus. She leans over me. Concern etched into the deep blue eyes.

Me? A host again? Granted the Tok'ra aren't as bad as the Goa'uld but...

A snake is a snake is a snake. I didn't like it the first time around and I most certainly do not want to go for round two.

"Over my dead body" I tell her.

She speaks again.

Oh, damn. How do I argue with that?

Damn! Damn! Damn! She had to go and say please and look at me like that. She doesn't want me to die. Hell, I don't want me to die.

The thing is I have a bad feeling that Hammond wouldn't allow it anyway. My dying that is. Even if I say no to the blending, he'd authorize it anyway. He seems to think I'm a valuable asset to this program. He doesn't want me to die either. I know he even considers me a friend. That's how I feel about him as well. What the Hell did I ever do to give him such faith in me? I know he's caught flak more times than I can count on both my hands and feet because of something I've done or said.

God, I really don't want to do this, but there are more important things to consider here than what I want. I know if I look into the faces of Hammond, Teal'c and even Jones (the guy is starting to grow on me, but I'm not ready to tell him that yet.) I'll see that same desperate begging look. I'm glad she healed him instead of me. He's really not such a bad guy once you get to know him. There's also the fact that he did just save Teal'c, Carter, and my butt recently. I won't let them down. I can't.

I know it's not a decision he'd take lightly, but I can't put the General in that position. I owe him too much. Then there's Carter and Teal'c. We just lost a very close friend not even a month ago. I can't do that to them. It's too soon.

I nod yes. Carter smiles and turns towards the observation window.

That was so the last time I'm ever going back to Antarctica.

Note to self, ask the President NOT to let the scientists dig up any more Ancients. They keep doing bad things to me.

OK. So maybe it's not intentional, but I'm not in a forgiving mood right now.

So, sue me. I'm about to do the one thing I really really never wanted to experience once never mind twice, and, intentional or not, it's their fault. Sort of.

Did I mention I have a problem with scientists?

Did I mention I hate being sick?

The End


End file.
